Moving on to Toddlers

Guest Post from by Robin Carmody and Juliane (Yana) Lapaix of the Early Childhood Education Department at Bay State College.

Many folks consider the time young children turn two as the "terrible two’s", while some experience two year old land as the terrific two’s! Who is to say which is right? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Toddlers are full of exploration, energy, and fun as they get into “everything”!  Now mastering the art of walking, they are no longer met with boundaries, nor positions and placements set only by adults.

• We need to baby proof  the house,
• Be more cognizant of the wood stove or open door to the basement,
• Place a safety baby gate near stairs, and
• Secure the cleaning chemicals.

My toddler won't share, what do I do?
The temperament of the toddler can be delightful amidst their internal conflicts, as there are many.Toddlers are in an "egocentric stage". As they continue to grow towards preschool and kindergarten, we try to help them to successfully move away from their egocentricity. Understanding that they are part of a group gets better after age five. In the meantime everything is "theirs", whether its their favorite bear, a book, toy or their primary caregiver-its as they declare “MINE”. This can also apply to fellow toddlers involved in play. Any toddler at any time can be anywhere and declare anything to be their own, which may, for another child become an issue (especially if an item they consider to be theirs is confiscated).

How do I stop my toddler from biting?!
As a group toddlers are moving away from their primary form of getting to know the world around them, oral exploration as was done during infancy. There are about 16 reasons why toddlers bite, ranging from utter happiness to frustration, attention getting to the pain of teething. The one thing we do know is that this stage shall pass.

Consistency and being firm with the toddler that this is not acceptable behavior, helps. Overreacting does not! Have a plan in your head as far as protocol is concerned. Treat the bitten child with care, hugs, kisses and cleaning the wound, while treating the biter, with a firm voice, short phrasing, and the consistency mentioned above. Follow the biter, and note the time, place, and circumstance.

• For the teether, it may be as simple as providing a frozen bagel or wash cloth to soothe teething pain.
• For the attention getter, spend less time on the phone and more time on the floor, remembering to give praise in a happy voice and big, genuine smile!

Always give toddlers vocabulary. Biting can be an honest attempt at communicating – especially if they feel at a loss for words. You will always be amazed at how later on; they will return using words you gave them in context-so keep it positive!

This is why the “early years” are so important, because patterns that are learned here are essentially forming the first pathways of the brain, and much like shortcuts on a computer they become more established over time, the more they are being used. It is therefore very important to keep in mind the positive experiences that children need, and that they can happen at any time and any place.